Questions for all the female types ;)

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Sarvis
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Questions for all the female types ;)

Postby Sarvis » Mon Nov 12, 2001 4:46 pm

Ok, I'm writing a paper that's due today about parenting and two-income families. Since I procrastinated a little too long and don't have much time left to do real research I decided to just ask you girls and pretend that it's actual research. Image


Are you married?

Do you have kids?

Do you work?

If so, why?

If you are not married now, do you intend to work when you are married?

If so, why?


Mostly I'm concerned with why women are choosing to work if they don't have to. I know I wouldn't if I had the choice... heh. Anyways, if you don't wanna post your answers here for privacy or something you can email them to me at mike_redick@hotmail.com
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Postby Cerlayne » Mon Nov 12, 2001 6:55 pm

hrmmm...

1) are you married? oh yeah.. 7 years now
2) do you have kids? gawd damn.. 4 of the demon spawn
3) do you work? normally work 40 hours per week... outa work for medical reasons atm
4) why do i work? see answer to ? #2!!!!
5) would i work if i didn't have to? YES!!! see answer to ? #2 for the reason!!!!

gawd i miss work... *moan*

Cerly 'tired of hearing I'M TELLING' L'ytria

[This message has been edited by Cerlayne (edited 11-12-2001).]
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Postby Sartorix » Mon Nov 12, 2001 7:01 pm

Cerly, I think maybe you should change the spelling of your name to 'surly' instead.

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Postby Vylare » Mon Nov 12, 2001 8:54 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Sarvis:
<B>Ok, I'm writing a paper that's due today about parenting and two-income families. Since I procrastinated a little too long and don't have much time left to do real research I decided to just ask you girls and pretend that it's actual research. Image


Are you married?

Do you have kids?

Do you work?

If so, why?

If you are not married now, do you intend to work when you are married?

If so, why?


Mostly I'm concerned with why women are choosing to work if they don't have to. I know I wouldn't if I had the choice... heh. Anyways, if you don't wanna post your answers here for privacy or something you can email them to me at mike_redick@hotmail.com</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not married, no kids, alas, I work. I work because I am the only one taking care of me Image
Statistically I have a greater chance of being murdered than I do of getting married, but if I had a choice to not work (married or otherwise) I wouldn't.
As far as why women work who don't have to, I'm sure there are many reasons, but from personal knowledge I can tell you that my mother works because she was always so busy working and raising us that she never had time to develop hobbies. She is a teacher and cleans the house and fusses about how bored she is for the entire summer break. I can always think of about 10,000 things I'd rather do on any given day than go to work, but she can't.
Another is future finances - women who have never worked are not eligible for their own social security benefits and generally have no pension or retirement plan. One of the largest groups of poor people is elderly women.
Anyway HTH. Image
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Postby Sarvis » Tue Nov 13, 2001 12:56 am

Thanks to everyone who's responded so far. Image I didn't actually get the paper done though... Image I did, however, talk my teacher into giving me an extension... heh. So if anyone hasn't had a chance to respond yet and wants to help me out feel free to do so for the next couple days. Image

Sarvis
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Postby Elseenas » Tue Nov 13, 2001 1:51 am

>Are you married?
Nein.

>Do you have kids?
Kein.

>Do you work?
Not presently. Poor college student.

>If you are not married now, do you intend to >work when you are married?
Yes.

>If so, why?
*Ask the same question to a guy and see how strangely he looks at you.*

Why Not? My options will be sit around and be a good little housewife Image or work. When we have children I think we'll probobly discuss it, but not before then.

Further, I will probobly make more money than whoever my husband will be, so I would be a more logical choice for the breadwinner. Besides, I *like* what I am training to do.

The question was phrased quite poorly.


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Elseenas of No House Worth Mentioning

[This message has been edited by Elseenas (edited 11-12-2001).]
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Postby Zazure » Tue Nov 13, 2001 1:58 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Sarvis:
<B>Ok, I'm writing a paper that's due today about parenting and two-income families. Since I procrastinated a little too long and don't have much time left to do real research I decided to just ask you girls and pretend that it's actual research. Image


Are you married?

Do you have kids?

Do you work?

If so, why?

If you are not married now, do you intend to work when you are married?

If so, why?


Mostly I'm concerned with why women are choosing to work if they don't have to. I know I wouldn't if I had the choice... heh. Anyways, if you don't wanna post your answers here for privacy or something you can email them to me at mike_redick@hotmail.com</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Sarvis
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Postby Sarvis » Tue Nov 13, 2001 2:08 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Elseenas:
<B>>Are you married?
Nein.

>Do you have kids?
Kein.

>Do you work?
Not presently. Poor college student.

>If you are not married now, do you intend to >work when you are married?
Yes.

>If so, why?
*Ask the same question to a guy and see how strangely he looks at you.*

Why Not? My options will be sit around and be a good little housewife Image or work. When we have children I think we'll probobly discuss it, but not before then.

Further, I will probobly make more money than whoever my husband will be, so I would be a more logical choice for the breadwinner. Besides, I *like* what I am training to do.

The question was phrased quite poorly.

</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Heh... I know men would give a funny look at that. The thing is men have been taught all our lives that we _must_ work, which is why I'm wondering why women choose to work even though they aren't raised to think they have to.

Also, if you think about it... sitting around being a "good little housewife" includes being able to MUD as much as you want. Or pursue any other interests you enjoy. *shrug*

How should I better word my question?

Sarvis

Edit: Oh yheah... what does Kein mean?

[This message has been edited by Sarvis (edited 11-12-2001).]
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Postby Cerlayne » Tue Nov 13, 2001 3:20 am

'which is why I'm wondering why women choose to work even though they aren't raised to think they have to.'


that's assuming that women are raised that way.. i know i was raised by an extremely intelligent woman who has been a supervisor all her life and makes more money then my father ever will... i was raised in the belief that i will probably make more money than any man i married due to my intelligence (yeah i can ocassionally be arrogant.. grin) and so far it's been true... besides.. why would i wanna stay home and wipe runny noses and change diapers??? yuck and double yuck...

Cerly
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Postby Ormiss » Tue Nov 13, 2001 9:59 am

Kein means None
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Postby Mplor » Tue Nov 13, 2001 4:50 pm

In German.
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Postby Ragorn » Tue Nov 13, 2001 7:30 pm

I don't speak your crazy moon language!

- Ragorn
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Postby Elseenas » Tue Nov 13, 2001 8:04 pm

Sarvis:

A better way to phrase the question would be as follows:

"What do you intend to do after you are married? Explain?"

Or give a hypothetical scenario. Just "Do you intend to work after you are married? Why?" sounds *really* strange to me as I was not raised to think I wouldn't have to work.

Ragorn:
Trezna vf abg n "penml zbba ynathntr," guvf vf.


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Elseenas of No House Worth Mentioning
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Postby Vylare » Tue Nov 13, 2001 8:26 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Elseenas:
<B>Sarvis:

A better way to phrase the question would be as follows:

"What do you intend to do after you are married? Explain?"

Or give a hypothetical scenario. Just "Do you intend to work after you are married? Why?" sounds *really* strange to me as I was not raised to think I wouldn't have to work.

Ragorn:
Trezna vf abg n "penml zbba ynathntr," guvf vf.


</B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I wasn't raised to think that way either, although given the small amount of money I make, if I were paying child care expenses for several children it would likely actually cost money for me to work. This is true of many people, and obviously isn't true of many others, as all situations are different, but there seems to be a tendency for people to assume that 2 income families are financially necessary, when in fact if they ran the numbers they would see they are making very little or actually losing money after the costs of child care, a second car, work wardrobe, commuting, etc.

My mother was a teacher and I am *sure* it cost money for her to work as she paid for a full time housekeeper so that my brother and I did not have to be in day care. She did it for her sanity, not for the money.

I don't think there are many things *I* could possibly do for money that are more important than raising children (note that I said I could possibly do, not that could possibly be done). God knows it is infinitely more important than me sitting here on the phone telling people to reboot their computers because they are getting illegal operation errors *shrug*.
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Postby Callie » Thu Nov 15, 2001 4:59 pm

Sarvis,

I was married for four years, now divorced. I have a young child, and I have worked since he was one year old. Good thing that I did, even though my husband at the time told me I didn't have to because when he walked out on me and our son I was better prepared and able to support the two of us. Though him leaving was not something that I ever thought about, I think that it is something that women should consider as a possibility. Had I not worked during the time that I was married, it would have been a difficult adjustment to go from not working at all and just raising a child, to having to adjust both myself and my son to my ex-husband (andhis father) not being around plus me not being around as much because of time devoted to work. Perhaps other women consider this possible scenario in the back of their minds, and should it happen to them, then they will be able to support themselves and their child (or children). Just my opinion and experience.

Callie
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Postby Zrax » Thu Nov 15, 2001 5:09 pm

Elseenas,

A better way to answer the question would have been in english. PC nazi's need to die!
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Postby Elseenas » Thu Nov 15, 2001 10:44 pm

Zrax:

When ever has German == Nazi?

When I study/am immersed a lanuage I have a habit of incorperating it into my speaking patterns without realizing it.
Turkish while I was in Turkey ("water" was "su" for quite some time), Mexican Spanish while I was in mexico.

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Elseenas of No House Worth Mentioning
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Postby Mplor » Fri Nov 16, 2001 12:39 am

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Zrax:
A better way to answer the question would have been in english. PC nazi's need to die!</font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Zrax, are you sure you aren't French?
Zrax
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Postby Zrax » Fri Nov 16, 2001 2:00 am

German doesnt equal nazi. The statement to answer in english was in response to your petty little politically correct, phrase the question differently reaction to something that Sarvis posted that was completely harmless. The PC nazi refers to people who will take any oppertunity to clobber people for the way they phrase something rather than for the content. I dont see how this wasnt obvious from reading it.

Mplor.....
I don't understand why you ask that but I am not french. I didnt mean to imply that I was in anything I said.
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Postby Shevarash » Fri Nov 16, 2001 2:08 am

Does a harmless thread like this really need to turn into a flame war?
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Postby sok » Fri Nov 16, 2001 2:16 am

zrax u are upset cuz u lost in fantasy football this week? it's okay. we still like u even if u are ugly and green. look on the bright side u regen faster than most races. Image
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Postby Elseenas » Fri Nov 16, 2001 7:30 am

Zrax:

Do you really need to flame every female on the forum?

If you want to talk phrasing, I'll be more than happy to discuss how to phrase questions so that you don't bias your results--off the forum or in a separate forum, my ICQ is posted. I assure you that it had little to do with "being PC."

Come on, lets not turn this into a flame war.

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Zrax
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Postby Zrax » Fri Nov 16, 2001 8:43 am

I did get pounded in fantansy football, that could be it. Damn Blung.

My flames or threads that are percieved as flames by little babies who cant handle any measure of critism, or would rather decline credit for their words than own up to them are directed to male or female without distinction. If you look im sure there are many more directed at males than females Elseenas, so I will ignore your arbitrary statements.

No flame war here I said all I had to say on the matter, and any discussion regarding the subject would be of such infentesmal significance to me that it wouldnt be worth pursing.

I fail to see why every discussion where people vary on opinion even slightly is braded a flame, and subjected to such rebuke. I don't know what kind of smurf village world you people live in where everyone gets along and agrees with each other on everything but I am sure glad I don't live there, it truly sounds like a boring place.
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Postby Ashiwi » Fri Nov 16, 2001 4:59 pm

Actually, I was kind of in agreement with Zrax.

I've been on my own since I was 15, supporting myself since then, always supported my family, always worked, sometimes two jobs. I've never known the stay-at-home side of the fence as an option. Even if I could stay at home, I doubt that I would since being out and working has become so deeply ingrained into my own sense of self.

My two children lived with me when my ex-husband left. I supported him for several years so he could stay at home and work on his craft, which was art and cartooning. When he got a job offer from a video game company to do artwork for them, he packed his things and left. If I had been dependant upon him for support, we would have lost everything, instead I just had to change my hours at work, so I could better accomodate the demands of being a single mother.

If I had the opportunity to stay at home, perhaps instead of working a full-time job for somebody else, I might develop some of my other talents and skills for my own gain.

Ashiwi, who makes the best chicken and dumplings, can change a diaper one-handed, does all her own automotive repairs as long as they don't require an engine hoist, sewed her own curtains, designs her own databases, owns her jigsaw, circular saw, cordless drill, router, rotary sander, air compressor, and a host of wrenches, sockets and screwdrivers and knows how to use them all fairly fluently, and STILL didn't have any problems with the original question.
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Postby Elseenas » Fri Nov 16, 2001 9:01 pm

Zrax:
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">My flames or threads that are percieved as flames by little babies who cant handle any measure of critism, or would rather decline credit for their words than own up to them...</font>


If you cannot tell that your statement is a blatent flame for the sheer purpose of flaming, complete with an abusive ad hominem and Prejudicial Language, Vhaerun help you.



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Postby Vylare » Fri Nov 16, 2001 11:58 pm

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Zrax:
<B>I did get pounded in fantansy football, that could be it. Damn Blung.

My flames or threads that are percieved as flames by little babies who cant handle any measure of critism, or would rather decline credit for their words than own up to them are directed to male or female without distinction. </B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And just out of curiosity, which of these groups would Shevarash belong to? Image

[This message has been edited by Vylare (edited 11-16-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Vylare (edited 11-16-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Vylare (edited 11-16-2001).]
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Postby Vylare » Sat Nov 17, 2001 12:01 am

What I don't understand about this whole thread is that everyone, as far as I can see, doesn't seem to consider child-rearing and running a home as "work." Why is that?
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Postby Sarvis » Sat Nov 17, 2001 12:19 am

Ok, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who responded. Image It was a great help... heh. And Vylare is right about most people not considering raising a child to be work. The first woman who responded by email actually said it directly... people don't respect a person for sitting at home and raising their kids. They tend to assume it's because that person is either too lazy or stupid to get a job. Almost every woman who replied seemed to have that attitude... comments such as "sit around and be a good little housewife Image or work. " As if there was something wrong with keeping the house clean and raising children these days... *sigh* For the record, I don't necessarily mean that women specifically should have to do this. Men can fill the role just as easily. My paper was about families in which both parents are working... I honestly think it would be far better for at least one parent to be home to raise the children. There are, of course, options that would allow one to work at the same time... such as telecommuting. Anyways... just rambling now, so I'll stop. Image

Sarvis

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