The Game

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Ragorn
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:39 pm

Sarvis wrote:Her: "We work at denny's.
Me: Have a good night...

That's how the conversation would have gone if it were me.
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Re: The Game

Postby amena wolfsnarl » Sat Aug 01, 2009 4:01 pm

Corth wrote:More than anything else, this thread is lacking pictures.


yeah how creepy would that be busting out the camera to get pictures so we can see what these woman look like.

Have you tried a website like plentyoffish.com? seems that are lots of woman on there looking for a relationship......or so i hear *whistle*

The way ive always looked at it, its harder to pick up woman in the bar, it depends more on physical looks (and how drunk they are) and not as much on personallity, charisma, etc.... on top of that its usually not a relationship type of hookup, usually the best you can hope for is a booty call, and from what ive read you want more than that.

Im not saying the bar is a bad thing but maybe try other avenues too.
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Re: The Game

Postby Botef » Sat Aug 01, 2009 5:17 pm

Image
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sat Aug 01, 2009 5:33 pm

amena wolfsnarl wrote:
Corth wrote:More than anything else, this thread is lacking pictures.


yeah how creepy would that be busting out the camera to get pictures so we can see what these woman look like.

Have you tried a website like plentyoffish.com? seems that are lots of woman on there looking for a relationship......or so i hear *whistle*

The way ive always looked at it, its harder to pick up woman in the bar, it depends more on physical looks (and how drunk they are) and not as much on personallity, charisma, etc.... on top of that its usually not a relationship type of hookup, usually the best you can hope for is a booty call, and from what ive read you want more than that.

Im not saying the bar is a bad thing but maybe try other avenues too.


The whole dating site thing has always been an utter failure for me. To the point where I actually have met more women in bars than through online dating sites. I'm updating my profiles anyway, and going with a slightly new strategy of just asking the girl's out instead of trying to send them some random message and trying to get to know each other through emails. Come on, we ALL know how bad I come off in text!

I'd actually say looks matter more on a dating site. You've got pictures and text to go on, you just can't judge personality or charisma very well.

Corth: Hey, I posted pics of Rachel didn't I?

Rags: There's something to be said for practicing, though... :P
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Re: The Game

Postby amena wolfsnarl » Sat Aug 01, 2009 7:35 pm

keep working at it sarvis you'll find someone for u, just put yourself out there and keep trying eventually you'll find something to work for u.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:24 am

So there's this cute asian chick, who we'' call Cat from now on. (I tried to acronymize hr name, but CAC sounds horrible so I went with cat... her real name is probably unique enough to find if she ever googles herself...)

She runs a meetup group for singles, which is how we initially met (though she holds all the events in bars so I still count it as meeting in a bar :P )

The thing is, 90% of the time she seems completely unaware of my presence. Yet last meetup she wanted my phone# (along with one other guys) and since then has invited me out a couple times. I went tonight, and it turns out she was meeting a fairly large group of people. (Basically what I'd expected, just giving context here.)

I get there a few minutes before her, she walks in and beams a huge smile at me and gives me a hug... then goes off to find her friends. I get introduced to a couple people and she goes off with one of the guys and spends the next hour or so talking with him. We all decide to switch bars, and take off only to have her stay behind with one of her close female friends. She finally shows up at the next bar, lets me know they're going somewhere else because they don't really like this bar and then takes off.

(I may not have realized I was meant to relay that info to everyone else, as by then they had started scattering/grouping off into cliques that didn't include me.)

I hang out for a while, then head over to the other bar. We talk for a bit, dance for one song and then she lets me know she's going back to the previous bar to see if they're coming over (I'm thinking I was supposed to relay that to everyone, but I didn't get that idea when she first told me... damn my lack of social experience!)

Anyway, long story short... she comes back and is completely oblivious to my presence. Walks past a few times and such. Eventually I get tired and decide I want to go home, and even getting her attention to say goodnight is tough. I tapped her on the shoulder like three times before she realized I was there...

I'm unsure as to whether she's that oblivious to the world/me, or she's purposefully trying to ignore me so I get more intrigued and chase after her.

I kind of get the feeling that she's one of those "have hundreds of friends but not really be close to them" kind of people, and maybe I'm just getting confused by being included in that really large casual social circle. Any evidence that she's trying to play hard to get or something is probably wishful thinking... damn hot Asian chicks!

(Hmm... didn't use her name again did I? Probably pointless to give her an alias... oh well, too late now!)
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Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:35 pm

That is what some call a friend or acquaintance. The women experts may say more but .. yeah friend.. I am one who greets people with a hug (Heh I did it on the MUD too, go figure) and I can promise you I don't want to sleep with or date everyone I hug. Is there potential? Don't know til you try but .. yeah stop friggin reading into EVERYTHING that happens, go with the flow. Sounds to me you may be a decent looking guy but you come across soooo creepy!

I think by now you'd guess that all of us have said yes you CAN meet a woman at a bar .. But with your lack of .. social skills, I just don't have a clue anymore :) At this point I'd say your best bet is meeting people online, but your online personna leaves a lot to be desired .. um .. yeah :)

I wish I wasn't such a masochist that I could stop reading this thread but it is like a gory gross train wreck and I am unable to stop reading it, weak, yes I am :(


By the way the Asian name may be foreign to you but yeah .. google it yourself and see how many hits you get :) There are a LOT of Asians :)
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:56 pm

Ambar wrote:That is what some call a friend or acquaintance. The women experts may say more but .. yeah friend..


Honestly I'd consider her an acquaintance... it was the demanding I come out drinking that's throwing me off. I've never had acquaintances demand my presence before...

I am one who greets people with a hug (Heh I did it on the MUD too, go figure) and I can promise you I don't want to sleep with or date everyone I hug. Is there potential? Don't know til you try but .. yeah stop friggin reading into EVERYTHING that happens, go with the flow. Sounds to me you may be a decent looking guy but you come across soooo creepy!


I'm pretty sure I don't come across creepy, awkward and quiet maybe... but do girls like keeping creepy guys around as just friends?


By the way the Asian name may be foreign to you but yeah .. google it yourself and see how many hits you get :) There are a LOT of Asians :)


I have googled it, there's maybe two other people that have that name...
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Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Mon Aug 03, 2009 1:01 pm

Yes we will keep creepy guys as friends, LOL

Your friends have never called you and said "hey man come meet us out" ?

If I demanded you put a loaded gun to your head and demanded you pull the trigger, would you?

I woke up too early, this is fun :)

By the way talked to a store from Buffalo yesterday and it creeps out it made me think of you :(

And no we wont visit you when we are in the area next week :P (Goin to visit dad in Syracuse area, not exactly THERE but close)
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:06 pm

Ambar wrote:Yes we will keep creepy guys as friends, LOL

Your friends have never called you and said "hey man come meet us out" ?


Haven't we been over this? As a rule my friends don't go out much, which is part of why I ended up doing the meetup group thing.

If I demanded you put a loaded gun to your head and demanded you pull the trigger, would you?


If you were a hot asian chick I'd probably consider it. :P

I woke up too early, this is fun :)

By the way talked to a store from Buffalo yesterday and it creeps out it made me think of you :(


What, did someone put a gun to your head and tell you to think about me?

And no we wont visit you when we are in the area next week :P (Goin to visit dad in Syracuse area, not exactly THERE but close)


If you consider a 3-4 hour drive close... and no, I wouldn't expect or want you to, given every time you talk you try to insult me in some way.
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:46 pm

Ambar wrote:That is what some call a friend or acquaintance. The women experts may say more but .. yeah friend.. I am one who greets people with a hug (Heh I did it on the MUD too, go figure) and I can promise you I don't want to sleep with or date everyone I hug. Is there potential? Don't know til you try but .. yeah stop friggin reading into EVERYTHING that happens, go with the flow. Sounds to me you may be a decent looking guy but you come across soooo creepy!

Yes, Ambar is correct. You made a friend/acquaintance. She's not trying to sleep with you, she's just being friendly. And yes, I demand my friends come out ALL THE TIME. All the time. I joke them when they refuse. It's part of being friends.
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Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:26 pm

Ragorn wrote:
Ambar wrote:That is what some call a friend or acquaintance. The women experts may say more but .. yeah friend.. I am one who greets people with a hug (Heh I did it on the MUD too, go figure) and I can promise you I don't want to sleep with or date everyone I hug. Is there potential? Don't know til you try but .. yeah stop friggin reading into EVERYTHING that happens, go with the flow. Sounds to me you may be a decent looking guy but you come across soooo creepy!

Yes, Ambar is correct. You made a friend/acquaintance. She's not trying to sleep with you, she's just being friendly. And yes, I demand my friends come out ALL THE TIME. All the time. I joke them when they refuse. It's part of being friends.


Yes, this. She demands of acquaintances because to her, the more the merrier. She hugs because she is a girl.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Aug 04, 2009 4:42 am

Kifle wrote:
Ragorn wrote:
Ambar wrote:That is what some call a friend or acquaintance. The women experts may say more but .. yeah friend.. I am one who greets people with a hug (Heh I did it on the MUD too, go figure) and I can promise you I don't want to sleep with or date everyone I hug. Is there potential? Don't know til you try but .. yeah stop friggin reading into EVERYTHING that happens, go with the flow. Sounds to me you may be a decent looking guy but you come across soooo creepy!

Yes, Ambar is correct. You made a friend/acquaintance. She's not trying to sleep with you, she's just being friendly. And yes, I demand my friends come out ALL THE TIME. All the time. I joke them when they refuse. It's part of being friends.


Yes, this. She demands of acquaintances because to her, the more the merrier. She hugs because she is a girl.


Ah, the joys of insomnia...

Really though, this is our first interaction outside of her meetup group and even then we only spoke a little. (Though I did help with the cleanup after one of them.) What I'm attempting to say here is, do people really invite each other out barely knowing each other like that?

I'll fully admit to wishful thinking on this, though...

I don't know about the "she hugs because she is a girl" part though. I've only known one other girl who was actually a hugger, she was dating a friend of mine. We later found out she used to be a stripper and he dumped her... but yeah, not many girls actually seem to hug these days.

My guess (emphasis on guess here) is that she's first generation American and hugging/touching is more common in her parents' culture.

Ambar: "Yes we will keep creepy guys as friends, LOL"

Are you just fucking with me on that? Seriously, I wouldn't even keep a girl around if I thought she was creepy...
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:28 pm

Sarvis wrote:Really though, this is our first interaction outside of her meetup group and even then we only spoke a little. (Though I did help with the cleanup after one of them.) What I'm attempting to say here is, do people really invite each other out barely knowing each other like that?

YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES

SHE DOES NOT WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU, SHE IS JUST BEING FRIENDLY

I don't know about the "she hugs because she is a girl" part though. I've only known one other girl who was actually a hugger, she was dating a friend of mine.

She hugs because she's a girl. Girls hug. They will hug you if you aren't creepy about it and you don't try to assume they want to sleep with you just because they're being friendly.

My guess (emphasis on guess here) is that she's first generation American and hugging/touching is more common in her parents' culture.

Girls hug. In America. In this generation.
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Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:38 pm

LOL you need to stop this BS :P Stop rethinking stuff and try to twist it to your favor. Once again you will not know until you try with the cute girl but stop the over thinking. Also did we really need to know she was Asian? Cute girl works just as well :) I never introduce people as my black or Asian friend, they are just my friend .. I think it was you who hated personal labels, stop using them :)

She hugs because she is outgoing and friendly. You also said you were not the only guy she hugged or did you conveniently forget that part of the equation. Hell she may want to sleep with both of you! If she hugs the whole group maybe she is a whore in disguise! Could be a stripper too! Yes people call their acquaintances and friends to go out. As someone said, the more the merrier.

Yes girls will keep creepy acquaintances/friends. We don't have to sleep with said creepy people but it is fun to talk to creepy people sometimes. If you keep them as friends, you also know where they are :P And creepy guys aren't dangerous, just weird. Outgoing people like friends. Period. End of story. Plus you may be able to help said creepy person with their creepiness, help them be less creepy. I think I have officially over - used that word, heh .. sorry bout that!
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:57 pm

Ambar wrote:LOL you need to stop this BS :P Stop rethinking stuff and try to twist it to your favor.


Not trying to twist to my favor, just trying to figure things out. I don't naturally get these things the way you do, in case you hadn't noticed.

Once again you will not know until you try with the cute girl but stop the over thinking. Also did we really need to know she was Asian? Cute girl works just as well :) I never introduce people as my black or Asian friend, they are just my friend .. I think it was you who hated personal labels, stop using them :)


Yeah yeah, I've got a little bit of a thing for asian chicks though. Granted, you guys don't need to know or care but internally I think of her as the hot asian chick.

She hugs because she is outgoing and friendly. You also said you were not the only guy she hugged or did you conveniently forget that part of the equation. Hell she may want to sleep with both of you! If she hugs the whole group maybe she is a whore in disguise! Could be a stripper too! Yes people call their acquaintances and friends to go out. As someone said, the more the merrier.


I wasn't reading anything into the hugging thing, I was just challenging Kifle on the "it's something girl's do" aspect of his post. It's not something a lot of girls seem to do, in my experience...

Yes girls will keep creepy acquaintances/friends. We don't have to sleep with said creepy people but it is fun to talk to creepy people sometimes. If you keep them as friends, you also know where they are :P And creepy guys aren't dangerous, just weird. Outgoing people like friends. Period. End of story. Plus you may be able to help said creepy person with their creepiness, help them be less creepy. I think I have officially over - used that word, heh .. sorry bout that!


And Kifle still says girls are simple...
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:59 pm

Ragorn wrote:Girls hug. In America. In this generation.


That certainly explains why I've only ever met two girls who hug acquaintances... :roll:
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Re: The Game

Postby Corth » Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:18 pm

Apparently Sarvis should be giving Ragorn the dating advice...
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Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Tue Aug 04, 2009 4:31 pm

Sarvis wrote:
Ragorn wrote:Girls hug. In America. In this generation.


That certainly explains why I've only ever met two girls who hug acquaintances... :roll:


Maybe the rest of the girls you know are really guys?

Pretty much all my female friends hug. So really one of three options is true:

1) You don't give off the huggable vibe.

2) All the females you know (except 2) are really guys.

3) You smell bad.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Aug 04, 2009 4:41 pm

1) Except to tiny asian girls and ex-strippers, possibly...

2) Hmm... well there's a couple who are questionable, but I've seen several pregnant so it's unlikely all of them are faking it

3) No, you're a towel! :P

Hmm... could be a regional thing? I'm always hearing how northerners are less friendly, maybe that's why?

(Actually just remembered another of my friends hugs intermittently, but she's also an ex-stripper...)
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Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:48 pm

Same here. The only woman I know that isn't a hugger is my wife -- until you are good friends with her. As far as asking acquaintances to go out, well, since you met in a meeting group, which is designed to meet people you are not friends with, I would assume this is just natural behavior for than environment. Normally, people don't call up acquaintances to go hang out, especially just the two people. That is generally awkward, and people tend to avoid those situations.

I would assume that this girl invited you because she is on the more extreme of the social spectrum, and she enjoys the company of many people. These people like to be the center of attention, the person that "knows everyone at the party," and will generally dominate the conversation in a small group of people. I would imagine she floats around at parties from group to group. She more than likely invited you because you seemed cool at the first meet-up and probably was intending to further the friendship; however, you aren't in the "friend zone" yet, so pursuing her isn't out of the question. Good luck on reading her signals though if you do intend to go that route. People like that are difficult to read. Signs, in this case though, point towards just friends. Sorry, bud.

Edit: One thing that I think is important to add: When you're at a party that somebody invites you to, do your best to mix in with the group and not wait for the person who invited you to entertain you. Social people HATE having to babysit people they invite to parties -- they like to mix up their conversations and float around. Yeah, they will talk with one person for extended periods of time occasionally, but don't expect it to be you. If she looks up, and you've been sitting/standing alone for 20 minutes, she's going to be annoyed for feeling she has to go talk to you and leave whatever she is doing.
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Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:54 pm

I was born in Syracuse, NY. I lived in the Italian area of the city, outskirts basically so yeah I am a yankee and a hugger .. Generally the people there were huggy .. Europeans, from the short time I lived in Spain (3 years) and traveled there, are huggy .. It's just something that people do or don't do .. I'm guessing the bars you go to arent clubs per se but BARS. Women who go to clubs to dance and have fun will be huggy. Generally speaking this will be the younger crowd. It is not rocket science, again dont read too much into it ..

You must have been HELL to teach geometry to.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:05 pm

Ambar wrote:It is not rocket science, again dont read too much into it ..


Again, I'm just curious about the hugging thing now.

You must have been HELL to teach geometry to.


I was hell to teach just about anything to until I had my first programming course, and then I was hell but in a different way (doing extra work and going beyond what the teacher wanted us to learn, then teaching others that stuff too.)

But I don't get the specific geometry reference here...?
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Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:11 pm

Geometry is dealing int he abstracts, trying to understand people is abstract. I dunno may not be related but .. yeah good guess on my part.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:16 am

Kifle wrote:I would assume that this girl invited you because she is on the more extreme of the social spectrum, and she enjoys the company of many people. These people like to be the center of attention, the person that "knows everyone at the party," and will generally dominate the conversation in a small group of people. I would imagine she floats around at parties from group to group.


Yes, this sounds like her...

She more than likely invited you because you seemed cool at the first meet-up and probably was intending to further the friendship; however, you aren't in the "friend zone" yet, so pursuing her isn't out of the question. Good luck on reading her signals though if you do intend to go that route. People like that are difficult to read. Signs, in this case though, point towards just friends. Sorry, bud.


Yeah, the thing is I could just ask her out and be done with it I guess... but I really have no reason to believe we'd get along at all. She's clearly way more social than I am, and she comes off as much more of a Type A personality too. It's just hard to ignore how attractive she is...

Edit: One thing that I think is important to add: When you're at a party that somebody invites you to, do your best to mix in with the group and not wait for the person who invited you to entertain you. Social people HATE having to babysit people they invite to parties -- they like to mix up their conversations and float around. Yeah, they will talk with one person for extended periods of time occasionally, but don't expect it to be you. If she looks up, and you've been sitting/standing alone for 20 minutes, she's going to be annoyed for feeling she has to go talk to you and leave whatever she is doing.


Yeah, I did this. Not necessarily because I knew she'd think that way, but because I'm trying to be more social. Ended up talking to one of her friends most of the night, which was easy because he's the kind of guy who never shuts up. ;)
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sat Aug 08, 2009 7:23 am

Ragorn wrote:Bartender: If you don't ask her out the next time you see her, it will be too late to ever do so. Just sayin'.


Well, hopefully you're wrong...

Scheduled a meetup for this bar tonight, and only one lady showed... 40 minutes late. I'm betting it looked like a blind date to the bartender, or at least some kind of date.

Nevertheless, I tried my normal sarcastic/joking/flirting stuff whenever the bartender interacted with us. Not sure how well that went really, and frankly it seemed like Jill (the girl from my meetup group) did better than I did since they were both into random spiritual crap that I don't believe in. (Among other things, this girl is a bartender who doesn't drink alcohol!)

So I'm there with Jill talking for a few hours, and eventually the bartender brings over our checks. I put in my tip and everything, but the OTHER bartender collects the bills... thus robbing me of the opportunity to ask the girl out or even write my number down and give it to her. A little later Jill is ready to leave, and I look around for the bartender to see her counting out... she sees me and smiles, but doesn't come over to talk. So I head out with Jill, and then come back in to get another diet coke (wasn't quite sure I should drive yet) only to see the bartender head out the back door.

So, probably blew any chance I had... but I'm thinking of dropping in Wednesday and just saying something like "I thought you seemed interesting the other night, how about if we get together for a ..."

Need to figure out what we're getting together for, probably not a drink... I doubt even coffee since she's into all this detox stuff (also I don't drink coffee.)

Sound remotely plausible? I figure I can't hurt my chances any more... really...
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Re: The Game

Postby Corth » Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:48 pm

Sarvis wrote:I tried my normal sarcastic/joking/flirting stuff whenever the bartender interacted with us. Not sure how well that went really, and frankly it seemed like Jill (the girl from my meetup group) did better than I did since they were both into random spiritual crap that I don't believe in.


This should be a clue that you are barking up the wrong tree.
Having said all that, the situation has been handled, so this thread is pretty much at an end. -Kossuth



Goddamned slippery mage.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sat Aug 08, 2009 5:23 pm

Corth wrote:
Sarvis wrote:I tried my normal sarcastic/joking/flirting stuff whenever the bartender interacted with us. Not sure how well that went really, and frankly it seemed like Jill (the girl from my meetup group) did better than I did since they were both into random spiritual crap that I don't believe in.


This should be a clue that you are barking up the wrong tree.


Why? The chances of meeting someone who believes exactly what I believe is pretty slim.
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Re: The Game

Postby avak » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:07 pm

I just randomly stumbled on this article by Kevin Smith. It reminded me of this conversation.

On the Perils of Strip Clubs

But the most fascinating category of strip-clubbers we used to obsess over were the True Believers - the guys who bought into the myth, and seemed to seriously believe they had a shot with these women once “Girls, Girls, Girls” ended.

Really, a pretty interesting article.
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:14 pm

Sarvis wrote:
Corth wrote:
Sarvis wrote:I tried my normal sarcastic/joking/flirting stuff whenever the bartender interacted with us. Not sure how well that went really, and frankly it seemed like Jill (the girl from my meetup group) did better than I did since they were both into random spiritual crap that I don't believe in.


This should be a clue that you are barking up the wrong tree.


Why? The chances of meeting someone who believes exactly what I believe is pretty slim.

The key fact is that she talked to your friend more than you, not that you don't believe her fairy and crystal magical crap.
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:26 pm

avak wrote:I just randomly stumbled on this article by Kevin Smith. It reminded me of this conversation.

On the Perils of Strip Clubs

But the most fascinating category of strip-clubbers we used to obsess over were the True Believers - the guys who bought into the myth, and seemed to seriously believe they had a shot with these women once “Girls, Girls, Girls” ended.

Really, a pretty interesting article.


I like the ending. I'll say, though, that the strippers around here are either smarter or I'm more memorable... they actually _do_ remember the stuff we talk about. (Not just talking about Kayla either.) Of course, you also get the occasional girl who thinks you look familiar and says "long time no see" even though you never spoke to her before.

Oh, and the "don't touch unless you're told to touch" rule? Not so universal...

EDIT: And really, if you're going to use a line like "that jerk stuck his finger up my asshole" frequently, how dumb are you for not having a good follow-up in case you try it on the same guy twice? Tsk tsk.
Last edited by Sarvis on Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:29 pm

Ragorn wrote:
Sarvis wrote:
Corth wrote:
Sarvis wrote:I tried my normal sarcastic/joking/flirting stuff whenever the bartender interacted with us. Not sure how well that went really, and frankly it seemed like Jill (the girl from my meetup group) did better than I did since they were both into random spiritual crap that I don't believe in.


This should be a clue that you are barking up the wrong tree.


Why? The chances of meeting someone who believes exactly what I believe is pretty slim.

The key fact is that she talked to your friend more than you, not that you don't believe her fairy and crystal magical crap.


Better than I did as in she was better at carrying a conversation and asking follow up questions, not as in the bartender responded better.

In any case, what do I have to lose by asking here? The other day I was "putting the pussy on a pedestal" because I was to afraid to go in and try talking to this chick, now you're telling me not to try asking her out?
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:01 pm

Nope, I'm not saying you shouldn't ask her out.
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Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:32 pm

Ok, so then back to my actual question:

"but I'm thinking of dropping in Wednesday and just saying something like "I thought you seemed interesting the other night, how about if we get together for a ...

Need to figure out what we're getting together for, probably not a drink... I doubt even coffee since she's into all this detox stuff (also I don't drink coffee.)

Sound remotely plausible? I figure I can't hurt my chances any more... really..."



(Seriously, see what I mean when I say you guys never actually give advice relevant to my questions? )
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:39 pm

Yes, that sounds remotely plausible.

(That's the only question you actually asked, and god forbid I answer a question you didn't ask, so that's all you get)
- Ragorn
Shar: Leave the moaning to the people who have real issues to moan about like rangers or newbies.
Corth: Go ask out a chick that doesn't wiggle her poon in people's faces for a living.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:48 pm

Fair enough. But you do see the difference between just saying I'm barking up the wrong tree because of one thing I said, and actually responding to what I asked now, right? Continuing with what you think of the reply would not at all be out of line, and might even be *gasp* useful! Previously you only managed to give me the idea I shouldn't try at all because you focused on one thing which was just meant to be context.

Toothache and lack of sleep are probably making me sound like more of a prick than I intend... but it gets frustrating when you guys keep saying I ignore advice when you never answered the question I asked in the first place.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sat Aug 15, 2009 1:31 am

So Rags was right, but not forthe reasons he thought probably...

Her: captain and diet, right?
Me: Acually how about your phone number?

At his point she explained she was leaving for brazil next week (which i knew) and would be there for 2 months before going to india (which i did not know)

So yeah, should have asked her much, much sooner :(


ps: this is from my phone, so i can bug you guys een while i'm out screwing things up! muhahahah

just kidding, typing a long post is way too annoying n thistle
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:34 pm

Well, since Kifle was so bored he would read anything, and I'm waiting for a long compile... and I can't get this off my mind...

The very short prelude is that I sort of dated this girl for a week. We were basically pointed at each other by a mutual friend in our meetup group, and after every meetup that week we'd stay out for a drink or whatever. At the end of the week she asked me out because, and I quote, "I was afraid you weren't going to ask me."

On our first date she suggested just renting a video and going back to my place. We fooled around a little but didn't have sex... we did sleep together though.

The next day she calls me and tells me she was just leading me on, she'd been seeing someone else for a while and decided she likes him better. She loves hanging out with me though, and still wants to be friends.

So anyway, since then:

We went out bar hopping one night, and ended up slow dancing to fast music
Same night, three of us are walking down the street holding hands (she's in the middle) and I kind of got uncomfortable with it so I pulled out... she tried grabbing my hand a couple times and got a little upset

Two nights later, she calls me up to ask if I want to get together for a drink

On her birthday, I text her something silly in the morning and she laughs. Later that night, while she was out with her BF, she texts me saying we should get together for a birthday drink
We get together for that drink a couple days later, only she invites another friend AND her boyfriend. We play darts, and while handing darts back and forth our hands seem to linger together a bit longer than usual ... well, actually I usually don't end up touching another person's hand while handing darts to them.


A couple weeks later we're at a movie meetup, and during the first movie she sits with a few people for a couple minutes at a time... then a few of us decide the movie sucks and go play pool for a while. Same thing handing the pool cue off to each other...
Second movie starts, she sits with a couple other people then comes over and spends the rest of the movie sitting with me.

After the movies, we go back to her place with a couple other people for drinks. Basically just having fun, maybe a little flirting and her boyfriend shows up later. No biggie really, until the end of the night... she gets worried that I'm too drunk to drive (I wasn't that drunk really, probably more sober than her...) so she walks into her guest bedroom and hops in the bed, telling me "come on, try it out and see how comfy it is." So yeah, lying in bed massaging her hips is NOT what I consider a normal "friend" thing to do...

On the way home that night, she texted me because she was worried about me getting home safe.

Actually a little worried I overplayed my hand on that one, here's the text convo:

2:14 Her: Are you home safely yet? I hope your okay!

2:17 Me: Almost... don't you have better things to be thinking about?

2:18 Her: No I'm pretty drunk, I gotta sober up! Text me when you get there... so I'm not wondering all night !

2:27 Me: You can't be that drunk. I'm home though so you can stop worrying...

2:33 Me: See, I knew it... you stopped worrying already

2:34 Her: NO! I totally read that! I just figured you were going to pass out now

2:35 Me: I'm probably not as drunk as you think... still think it's odd I'm the one you're worrying about though


So, I don't know. I just keep feeling like I'm getting mixed signals from this girl... well, actually more to the point I feel like I'm getting signals she still wants to be with me but we're both backing off of them because she has a boyfriend.

The thing is, every time I resolve to back off and just let it go something happens that forces the idea back into my head. Like that whole bed thing...

I think I actually like her more NOW than just before she dumped me. And I keep wondering how much she can actually like this other guy if she asked me out 3 days before deciding to go steady with him.
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Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:47 pm

She is making you her Cuddle Bitch. You're the one she holds hands with and flirts with when her boyfriend's not around. He's the one she goes home and sleeps with.

Don't hold her hand. Don't be her partner for darts. Don't text her other than to say you're home... and don't follow up when she doesn't answer. Be her friend, but you're not going to be her boyfriend, so move on and find someone else who isn't going to play with you.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:54 pm

Ragorn wrote:She is making you her Cuddle Bitch. You're the one she holds hands with and flirts with when her boyfriend's not around. He's the one she goes home and sleeps with.

Don't hold her hand. Don't be her partner for darts. Don't text her other than to say you're home... and don't follow up when she doesn't answer. Be her friend, but you're not going to be her boyfriend, so move on and find someone else who isn't going to play with you.


The flirting doesn't always stop when her boyfriend shows up... hell, he was in the next room for the bed thing.

I'm not stuck on her, really... the situation is just getting more confusing and annoying for me.
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Re: The Game

Postby amena wolfsnarl » Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:47 am

sometimes u gotta say "Boyfriend be damned im going for it!" next time u guys are having a couple drinks GO FOR IT! kiss her, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, and HIT THAT!

If you think your getting signals, chances are u are. but the thing about is you gotta do something about it, dont just play the friend card, take a chance go for it. If your into this girl a friendship will not work out, you'll get yourself worked up and jealous about her boyfriend, so put it out there, make a statement like, 'hey you know what im really into you and i cant just be friends with you i want more.' this is best said after making a move on her that shows you want to be more than just friends, i.e. kissing her.

2 words man:

DOOOOOOO IIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!
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Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:55 am

I can't really find anything to say other than what Rag's and Amena just said. You are the cuddle bitch. Plain and simple. I was one once... just once; however, I got a blow job out of it in the three day period she was broken up with her boyfriend. This was high school though, so I'm not sure what the play would be on that at this point in the game. Honestly, put your cards on the table and call it quits if shit doesn't go as planned. Maybe if you show her you have a sack, she may want to test the waters before buying the boat.

If you continue to play the safe route, you may get it eventually, but don't hold your breath. You'll just wind up going home with blue balls every time you're with her. More importantly, when you're with her and you two are flirting, that sends signals to other women that you guys either are an item or may be an item at some point in the near future. This doesn't work in your favor... only hers -- which may indicate that she does want you, but as a back-up. So, she strings you along, gets the attention her BF wont or can't give her, and also gets the benefits of the BF as well. It's a sweet system she has going. This works on women as well, but it's mean and I don't encourage it.
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:00 pm

@Amena: Remember the whole "nice guys finish last" thing? Well, this is why... the one night we were out barhopping I could have kissed her several times. I didn't because I don't want to be the guy who steals girlfriends.

@Kifle: Well, it's not like there aren't other girls out there. This one girl I like is _supposed_ to be at a halloween party this weekend, so really more hoping things work out with her.
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Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:37 pm

amena wolfsnarl wrote:2 words man:

DOOOOOOO IIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!!!


I believe you mean:

3 words man:

"Get 'Er Dun!"
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:50 pm

Ok, so the halloween party just got pretty interesting.

Obviously the girl my last post was about, we'll call her Ellen from now on, will be there.
The girl I'm actually interested in, let's call her Sue, is supposed to come
Another girl I may or may not have made out with a couple weeks ago, Anne, just RSVP'd that she'll be there too

I guess I don't care much if I piss Anne off, and she HAS said "just friends" in the past. Ellen knows where we stand, so if anything she'd just get jealous. The big problem is Sue... I only met her a couple times but really liked her, so I don't want anything with Anne or Ellen to interfere with my chances at Sue. :(
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Re: The Game

Postby Botef » Wed Oct 28, 2009 4:34 pm

Your thinking about this all wrong man. Anne and Ellen flirting with you in the presence of Sue is a good thing, a little competition goes a long way in motivating someone to take a chance or make a move. I have never met a woman who eyes the guy none of the women at a party are interested in, ever.
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Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Wed Oct 28, 2009 6:12 pm

Botef started off the post correctly but then derailed.

Sarvis,

You're thinking about this all wrong.

<best advice ever>
The idea is to get Ellen, Sue, and and Anne into bed all at the same time.
</best advice ever>

Mike :)
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Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Oct 28, 2009 6:17 pm

Pril, seriously... after reading this thread you think I have a chance in hell of getting that to happen?

I'll be lucky if they don't all hate me by Sunday morning...
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Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:36 am

Sarvis wrote:Pril, seriously... after reading this thread you think I have a chance in hell of getting that to happen?

I'll be lucky if they don't all hate me by Sunday morning...



See Sarvis it's that kind of defeatest attitude that will be your ultimate demise. :)
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Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:45 am

Sarvis wrote:I'll be lucky if they don't all hate me by Sunday morning...


I thought you said you didn't have a chance at sleeping with these women? Ziing!

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