The Game

Life, the universe, and everything.
Forum rules
- No personal attacks against players or staff members - please be civil!
- No posting of mature images/links, keep content SFW. If it's NSFW, don't post it on these forums.
Ambar
Sojourner
Posts: 2872
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Our House in Va.
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:37 pm

You've never watched a movie 8 million times but still laughed your ass off? It is always gonna be funny!
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:55 pm

Ambar wrote:You've never watched a movie 8 million times but still laughed your ass off? It is always gonna be funny!


Yeah, but the post wasn't nearly as good as Spaceballs. :P
Todrael
Sojourner
Posts: 1454
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2001 6:01 am
Location: MI, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Todrael » Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:18 pm

A rationalist blog discusses why dating advice can seem so unhelpful.

http://lesswrong.com/lw/1aj/let_them_ea ... _vs_tasks/
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:08 pm

Todrael wrote:A rationalist blog discusses why dating advice can seem so unhelpful.

http://lesswrong.com/lw/1aj/let_them_ea ... _vs_tasks/


Huh... well said. I've said (or tried anyway) a lot of that here too.
Pril
Sojourner
Posts: 1834
Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 5:01 am

Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Wed Nov 11, 2009 12:13 am

Sarvis wrote:Pril: Hahahahahahahaha


When did I laugh at you? I certainly suggested getting a donkey costume and going to Tijuana, I may have given other "good" advice but I don't think I ever just flat out laughed.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Nov 11, 2009 12:39 am

Pril wrote:
Sarvis wrote:Pril: Hahahahahahahaha


When did I laugh at you? I certainly suggested getting a donkey costume and going to Tijuana, I may have given other "good" advice but I don't think I ever just flat out laughed.



I assumed you were laughing at your own jokes. :P
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Nov 17, 2009 3:40 am

Well, just to prove that I really am a huge glutton for punishment... I need advice.

I found a way to get in touch with... what was her alias again? Sue? *scrolls back* Yep, Sue.

I became a fan of a page aimed at promoting local businesses on Facebook. Looking through the other members it turns out she's also a fan of that page... yay!

They happen to be holding a business mixer tomorrow, so I sent her something along the lines of:

"Hey, I saw you while deciding if I wanted to go to this event and decided to drop a line and say hi."

Followed by "stuff."

Anyway, I pretty much decided against going... most of my friends are busy and I'm still working through Dragon Age.

A little while ago she replied (YAY!) basically saying stuff and ending with "I'm planning on being there tomorrow. Hope to see you."

So now the problem is, do I tell her I can't make it or do I go by myself? It's a business mixer, so maybe it's more normal to go solo for one of those?

Also, how would one dress for such a thing? I've just got my lowly website to promote after all...

(Which would be the perfect forum to ask this on, if only there wasn't a decent chance of her visiting that site and seeing a question that sounds strangely like it could be about her.)
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:29 pm

Well, already sent her the message that I'll be there...

I'm assuming dress code at something like this would be button down shirt and slacks? I have the tie with me just in case everyone else is wearing one...
Ambar
Sojourner
Posts: 2872
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Our House in Va.
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:42 pm

2 scenarios:

1)"Hey Sue, wasn't planning on going but since you will be there, I will as well .. is this thing business casual or what's the dress?" Alternatively business casual, khaki's and a nice shirt would probably work unless it is at the Hyatt or something.

2)"Hey Sue, I wasn't planning on going but can we meet for coffee / tea / dessert / drinks later? It'd be great to see you and catch up"

It's upstate NY, there has GOT to be a diner or something you can meet at that's inexpensive but cheerful. .. Friendly's is always win!
Ragorn
Sojourner
Posts: 4732
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2001 6:01 am

Re: The Game

Postby Ragorn » Tue Nov 17, 2009 1:59 pm

You can't go wrong with business semi-casual. Wear slacks or khakis and a button down shirt. No tie. If the attire is casual, you look a little dressy, but you're not wearing a business suit. If the attire is formal, you're a little under dressed, but you don't come over as a total slob.
Corth
Sojourner
Posts: 6002
Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2001 6:01 am
Location: NY, USA

Re: The Game

Postby Corth » Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:04 am

Wow heheh. I actually learned something from this thread. Generally I do suits or tee-shirt and jeans - and pretty much nothing in between. I could use a thread like this for my wardrobe. :)
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:57 am

Ambar: Thanks! I probably would have done 2 if you'd posted before I messaged her back...

Rags: Yep, business casual fit in perfectly. Well, nice pants and a button down shirt... MY version of BC is an untucked shirt, collar optional and khakis. The people at work thought I looked "fancy" though, so I think I had a good outfit...


Now for the... hrm... uncertain news. She walked in late, kind of seemed like she was looking around for me, then like she was trying to avoid looking at me, then we mad eye contact and waved/smiled (someone was giving a short presentation at the time and she was trapped at the door.) After we all presented our businesses she started talking to someone and I went across the room to talk to a graphic design chick (still not happy with the Dear Vesta logo.) We talked a bit at the bar, she said she wanted to go mingle which kind of bummed me out. I thought she would have talked to me longer... but I ended up talking to this really hot asian girl for a while. She had a boyfriend, but I was hoping Sue would see me talking to her and realize she had competition...

Anyway, eventually I wandered back into the snack room and ended up talking with some of the other guys there. she wandered over to join our group, and we talked for a while. I saw the graphic design girl (I had missed her earlier and ended up talking to someone else) and left to go get her business card so I could get in touch with her about the logo. While I'm talking, the group dissolves and Sue kind of waits nearby and tells me she's leaving. I thank the graphic design girl, go get my coat and then end up waiting for Sue because they started talking.

In the end, we walked out together and she started talking about checking for a meetup soon. I suggested maybe we could get together Friday because I have some passes for an improve show... but she already has plans. She made it sound like she would show up to my meetup on Thursday, but I'm kind of wondering if she was just rejecting me...

Bleh.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Nov 18, 2009 1:10 am

Corth wrote:Wow heheh. I actually learned something from this thread. Generally I do suits or tee-shirt and jeans - and pretty much nothing in between. I could use a thread like this for my wardrobe. :)



What's funny is I almost PM'd you figuring you'd be the expert on this sort of thing... (the dress code for business mixers that is.)
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:15 am

Well, I was hoping that "has plans, but will try to show up to next meetup" meant she was interested and would actually show up... but no dice. She didn't come out, or reach out to me to let me know, or anything... so... bleh.

Women are fucking annoying.
teflor the ranger
Sojourner
Posts: 3923
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Waterdeep

Re: The Game

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:36 pm

Sarvis wrote:Well, I was hoping that "has plans, but will try to show up to next meetup" meant she was interested and would actually show up... but no dice. She didn't come out, or reach out to me to let me know, or anything... so... bleh.

Women are fucking annoying.

You are annoying. (I am not trying to insult you, as you have not insulted me, but you're reaching a bit with your generalization there.)
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:37 pm

Well said Mr. Kettle.
teflor the ranger
Sojourner
Posts: 3923
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Waterdeep

Re: The Game

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:38 pm

Sarvis wrote:Well said Mr. Kettle.

Whatever man. I've met hundreds of women that don't annoy me.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:38 pm

Good for you?
teflor the ranger
Sojourner
Posts: 3923
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Waterdeep

Re: The Game

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:39 pm

Basically.
teflor the ranger
Sojourner
Posts: 3923
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Waterdeep

Re: The Game

Postby teflor the ranger » Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:43 pm

Maybe the game would go better for you if you assumed rejection but prepared for acceptance?
Todrael
Sojourner
Posts: 1454
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2001 6:01 am
Location: MI, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Todrael » Sat Nov 21, 2009 3:28 pm

You just lost the game.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Tue Nov 24, 2009 1:16 pm

So, does anyone have any thoughts on the Sue thing? Should I maybe send her another message and just see if she wants to get together? The other option is basically wait to see if she shows at any other meetups, which there's no sign of her doing... or just giving up on her I guess.
Ambar
Sojourner
Posts: 2872
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Our House in Va.
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:52 am

If she is interested she will contact you. Nothing wrong with you contacting her but it seems to me that she is a waffler. In the meantime look around at the other girls .. You cant win if you dont try.

I'd be curious to see your honest profile on a dating website. My friend Bill is a widower who was so picky on his profile he found zero matches.

Next, what do you talk about with women? How do you talk to them? Where do you stand / look when talking to them .. What contact do you make .. ie: physical and / or eye contact. Do you stand there looking down with your hands in your pocket, that kinda stuff .. Honestly it seems like all the girls you've talked about seemed interested but were scared away by .. something .. Possibly something you said or didn't say or something you did or how you carry yourself. I'm not sure I am making myself clear and I dont mean any personal attack or whatever, just making a casual observation. If you are as socially inept as you say your are (again no attack here, just making conversation) I am wondering if its your conversation thats at fault. You seem to have no trouble meeting girls, its the keeping them that is the issue. You seem to do fine when its texting or quick emails but it seems like the personal contact is the problem. Are you talking to a new girl about how hard it is for you to meet women, about politics, religion, that type of thing?

How would your average conversation go to get to the point of *hey this is my phone number, let's get together sometime..*

About *Sue* .. just so silly to be an adult and use pretend names .. Likely we will never meet or talk to this girl. If something develops and she reads this she will know anyway who you meant. Don't give up on the "hey lets go get coffee / ice cream / pie / cake / lunch ... whatever" either .. small, quick gatherings that may lead to dinner .. Also let her pay if she offers.

Ack sorry for randomness, was at work and clicked the thread ..
Kifle
Sojourner
Posts: 3830
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:01 am
Location: Huntington, IN USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Wed Nov 25, 2009 2:52 am

Keep trolling the pond, young fisherman.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Nov 25, 2009 3:09 am

Kifle wrote:Keep trolling the pond, young fisherman.



Err... are you trying to call me a troll, or telling me to forget about Sue and concentrate on the "other fish in the sea?"
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Nov 25, 2009 3:45 am

Ambar wrote:If she is interested she will contact you. Nothing wrong with you contacting her but it seems to me that she is a waffler. In the meantime look around at the other girls .. You cant win if you dont try.


For now I've settled on scheduling a meetup at a place she mentioned wanting to go to, at an earlier time than most of my meetups since she hinted that I was scheduling things too late. I guess we'll see...

I'd be curious to see your honest profile on a dating website. My friend Bill is a widower who was so picky on his profile he found zero matches.


I'm probably going to regret this, but here you go: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Sarvis/

I've had people look at the messages I send too, and no one has said there was anything wrong with them. But I pretty much get no response on this site... or any other dating site I've tried.

Next, what do you talk about with women? How do you talk to them? Where do you stand / look when talking to them .. What contact do you make .. ie: physical and / or eye contact. Do you stand there looking down with your hands in your pocket, that kinda stuff ..


We talk about random stuff. Normal conversation I'd guess, I make a lot of sarcastic remarks and jokes but as a rule people seem to laugh and enjoy my company. I try to maintain eye contact and good posture, but I'm probably not terribly consistent about that stuff. A lot of times after talking to a girl I'll realize afterwards that I'd failed to make eye contact at all...

Honestly it seems like all the girls you've talked about seemed interested but were scared away by .. something ..


I have a slightly different theory. I'm not particularly scaring women away, I'm just failing to be attractive. Several girls seem to like having me around, which led to me becoming assistant organizer in one of the meetup groups.

Barbara is fond of telling me I need to make bolder moves... sometimes while she's pressed up against me. (She has a boyfriend, so no bold moves were forthcoming when she told me this...)

Possibly something you said or didn't say or something you did or how you carry yourself. I'm not sure I am making myself clear and I dont mean any personal attack or whatever, just making a casual observation. If you are as socially inept as you say your are (again no attack here, just making conversation) I am wondering if its your conversation thats at fault. You seem to have no trouble meeting girls, its the keeping them that is the issue.


Actually I think I have plenty of trouble meeting them, but the meetup group helps quite a lot with that. Unfortunately I know this meetup group in particular scares some people off, which I really just now considered. Several people have said the group is cliquey, and it's not at all uncommon for people to show up once or twice and then disappear. Hmm...

You seem to do fine when its texting or quick emails but it seems like the personal contact is the problem. Are you talking to a new girl about how hard it is for you to meet women, about politics, religion, that type of thing?


Nope, none of that stuff. Oddly though, one of the girls, Darlene, I met through meetup (other groups than the cliquey one) completely gets my jokes and we have a great time whenever we talk in person. About 80% of the time I make a joke in email though, she gets offended or takes it the wrong way.

How would your average conversation go to get to the point of *hey this is my phone number, let's get together sometime..*


No idea... :(

About *Sue* .. just so silly to be an adult and use pretend names .. Likely we will never meet or talk to this girl. If something develops and she reads this she will know anyway who you meant. Don't give up on the "hey lets go get coffee / ice cream / pie / cake / lunch ... whatever" either .. small, quick gatherings that may lead to dinner .. Also let her pay if she offers.

Ack sorry for randomness, was at work and clicked the thread ..



I'll throw this in too, because it's been bugging me. A LOT of the girls around me now keep giving me mixed signals, Ellen among them though she has calmed down a bit. Darlene, for instance, declared us just friends last spring... but wanted to get together for a drink a couple weeks ago. Things got pretty touchy-feely between us, and walking out of the bar I put my arm around her. She moved in and put her arm around me, but only briefly before moving away. At our cars she hugged me, but made sure to keep her head turned at an angle to make it impossible to kiss her...

Ok, hadn't even meant to complain about Darlene. This one is very indicative of my luck though:

Heidi comes to a meetup, and I don't really notice her much. (She was sitting between Ellen and another girl I was interested in, and she was quiet so... yeah. ) Anyway, a couple days later she sends me a message on Facebook asking me to set up a singles event she's planning. I explain that most of the regulars in the group aren't single, but I'll put it up as a note so people can go to that if they want and if enough people express interest we'll make it the official meetup.

She replies:

"I told you about it for a few reasons. *snip* Not to mention...your a handsome funny guy that is single..and wouldnt mind getting to know you better."

I reply with: "As for getting to know me better, I'd say there's no reason to wait until (almost) next year. I was thinking of going to Comedy Sportz on Friday around 7pm, care to join me? "

Of course, she turns me down... then says she'll see me at a meetup I had planned. Then she cancels, and I haven't heard from or seen any sign of her since.

I just don't get expressing such direct interest and then ignoring me completely, but it seems to be the norm. (Thus my "women are annoying" comment earlier.)
Kindi
Sojourner
Posts: 405
Joined: Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:42 am

Re: The Game

Postby Kindi » Wed Nov 25, 2009 4:48 am

i think he meant trawling
Ambar
Sojourner
Posts: 2872
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Our House in Va.
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Ambar » Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:06 am

Created a bogus account since your profile is private .. Decent looking guy just as I suspected, not sure why guys shave their heads but it doesnt look bad on you, suits you actually. Terrific smile too and nice eyes. OMG I just complimented Sarvis .. I will burn in hell (joking) ..

I'll say it again, you can be the best looking guy in the world but if you are a dork once you start talking, the hawtness goes out the window. I guess guys wouldnt care about that as long as booty is involved, but most women (not all) care about stuff liek talking. I'd focus less on trying to hide the fear / shyness by cracking jokes and more on listening to her and contributing. It is fine to come across as shy, probably more than fine but In my opinion you should be trying to be funny funny not sarcastic funny if that makes any sense .. Someone commented on your profile as *sad* .. referring to the video gamne comment .. Watch out for stuff like that, how you MEANT it doesnt come across that way in the written word as you well know. I think you just need to actually TALK to people more, not joke to hide who you really are behind sarcasm and jokes. Comfort zones are hard to break out of, but it will be well worth it in the end.

Good job on the earlier meeting with her, try to be nice, attentive and funny funny not sarcastic funny .. Take it slow, dont be quick to say "whatcaniseeyouagaain!" that's stalkerish .. Something like "hey this was fun, lets do it again sometime" may work fine.

gl
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Nov 25, 2009 5:30 am

Ambar wrote:Created a bogus account since your profile is private .. Decent looking guy just as I suspected, not sure why guys shave their heads but it doesnt look bad on you, suits you actually. Terrific smile too and nice eyes. OMG I just complimented Sarvis .. I will burn in hell (joking) ..


Maybe Kiryan can put in a good word for you with the voices in his head. ;)

I'll say it again, you can be the best looking guy in the world but if you are a dork once you start talking, the hawtness goes out the window. I guess guys wouldnt care about that as long as booty is involved, but most women (not all) care about stuff liek talking. I'd focus less on trying to hide the fear / shyness by cracking jokes and more on listening to her and contributing. It is fine to come across as shy, probably more than fine but In my opinion you should be trying to be funny funny not sarcastic funny if that makes any sense ..


It makes sense, but sarcasm is pretty much just my sense of humor. I'll watch for being too stuck on just cracking jokes though...

Someone commented on your profile as *sad* .. referring to the video gamne comment .. Watch out for stuff like that, how you MEANT it doesnt come across that way in the written word as you well know. I think you just need to actually TALK to people more, not joke to hide who you really are behind sarcasm and jokes. Comfort zones are hard to break out of, but it will be well worth it in the end.


Huh... never even saw that comment until now. I think I had recently seen a couple girls complaining about guys paying more attention to video games than to their girlfriends. I don't even think that line's in my profile anymore... think I need to make a couple updates anyway though.

Good job on the earlier meeting with her, try to be nice, attentive and funny funny not sarcastic funny .. Take it slow, dont be quick to say "whatcaniseeyouagaain!" that's stalkerish .. Something like "hey this was fun, lets do it again sometime" may work fine.

gl


Wait, her who? I'm confused... Sue? I don't think I came off as too eager, we were walking out together and she started saying she'd try to check the meetups more often. I said "Actually, I have some passes for an improve show Friday... care to join me?" Or some variation on that...
Kifle
Sojourner
Posts: 3830
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:01 am
Location: Huntington, IN USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Thu Nov 26, 2009 5:26 am

Sarvis wrote:
Kifle wrote:Keep trolling the pond, young fisherman.



Err... are you trying to call me a troll, or telling me to forget about Sue and concentrate on the "other fish in the sea?"


Other fish in the sea. Sorry for the confusing metaphor.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:41 am

Image

Good news everyone!

Don't worry, I'll start at the embarrassing beginning part for those of you just here for teh lulz.

So last Friday was the 1 year anniversary of my date with Kayla. The original plan was to check out her strip club in case she had spent too much money again and needed some extra cash, thus prompting her to pick up a shift. A coworker was having a happy hour near her club even, so I figured once my normally lightweight coworkers called it quits I'd just pop over for a few minutes before going home.

Of course, that night the actual party crew came out... and decided to go to a different bar. While there I started thinking about a couple of the other girls I know, and still figuring that my coworkers would call it quits early I texted them to see if they wanted to get together later.

One got pissed at my cute/funny text, the other said she was going out with roomates. By then we had decided to barhop again, so I told her they should join us. She said they might, they hadn't decided yet... then a little later I text her that I'd be disappointed if there were no hot Nevadians when I got there. She replies that they just got there... :)

My friends went outside (damn smokers) and I ended up hanging inside with Hanh the entire night. The only bad part is that we mutually got way too drunk, and her roomate ended up pulling us apart a couple times. Not that we were getting all "hot and heavy," the first time I had just started to kiss her and the second time I ended up laying down outside and Hanh cuddled up next to me for like 30 seconds before her roomate and friend picked her up to drag her home. ( was at least capable of walking under my own power ;) )

Next morning text:

Me: Judging by my hangover, you're a bad influence on me!
Her: Mine hurts too!

(That parts not that important, her response is just amusing. )

We text a bit later on, and decided I'd call her to make plans once I knew what my week looked like.

Long story short (or less long anyway, at this point) I've got my first official date with an asian chick on Friday! :)


Just a little excited, so I figured I'd share...
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:56 am

One question though, and this is purely academic since she called me back like 1 minute later, when you're calling a girl to make the first date is it better to leave a voicemail or not leave one and call back later?
amena wolfsnarl
Sojourner
Posts: 439
Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:14 pm
Location: grande prairie alberta canada

Re: The Game

Postby amena wolfsnarl » Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:37 am

your over thinking it, leave a voice mail for her saying that if u dont hear back from youll call again in a day
Kifle
Sojourner
Posts: 3830
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:01 am
Location: Huntington, IN USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:20 am

Sarvis wrote:One question though, and this is purely academic since she called me back like 1 minute later, when you're calling a girl to make the first date is it better to leave a voicemail or not leave one and call back later?


Voicemail. In the age of caller ID, it will show that you called more than once, and that may seem like desperation. Also, when you do go out on this date, make sure she doesn't drive. On top of being female, she's asian. You're almost guaranteed to get into an accident.
Dalar
Sojourner
Posts: 4905
Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2001 6:01 am

Re: The Game

Postby Dalar » Thu Dec 03, 2009 3:05 am

Gratz! Asians are the best. Got a pic?
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:40 am

Dalar wrote:Got a pic?


No good ones, sorry!
Dalar
Sojourner
Posts: 4905
Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2001 6:01 am

Re: The Game

Postby Dalar » Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:43 pm

Any work
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:52 pm

Kifle
Sojourner
Posts: 3830
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:01 am
Location: Huntington, IN USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:54 pm

I'm confused... what should we see in that picture? Also.. Redick? That last name seems like a hilarious verb.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:56 pm

The girl putting on a helmet, and yes... not like that joke hasn't been getting told since like 3rd grade.
Kifle
Sojourner
Posts: 3830
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:01 am
Location: Huntington, IN USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:04 pm

Sarvis wrote:and yes... not like that joke hasn't been getting told since like 3rd grade.


Hey, you don't have to be a Redick about it.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sat Dec 05, 2009 6:56 am

So we had a good time at Dave & Busters, then I asked if she wanted to come out to another bar with me for a meetup I was holding. She kind of reluctantly agreed, and we hung out at the second bar for about 3 hours.

When we first got there we talked about about her friend who went out with one of my friends the night before. She mentioned telling her friend that she needed to at least show some interest through body language, and mentioned at least hugging at the end of the date to make sure the guy knows she's interested.

Fast forward a little bit, and she's talking to one of the other girl's in my meetup group about how last week (the same night we drunkenly cuddled up on top of a bush) she was grabbing the bouncer's ass and he was texting her, and how hot the guitarist for the band was and such... I pretty much stayed out of it. I figure A) Whatever, she's here with me now and B) looking or acting jealous won't help.

Anyway, she decides she's tired and decides to leave, and hugs me. Kind of a lingering hug, but at the same time it was the hips back kind... I walk her out to her car, and we hug again after talking for a few minutes.

Not entirely sure how to evaluate this...

Oh, also last week we started to kiss but her roomate pulled us apart. While she was talking about grabbing the bouncer's ass I mentioned her roomate was pretty quick to separate us when I tried kissing her and Hanh said she feels like that's a big no-no for her so that's why her roomate was more overprotective. So maybe she feels like a hug is good indication of interest while it's not time for kissing yet?

She did mention a next time though... so, well, hopefully there's a next time. I'm just worried I'm going to end up in the friend zone again...

EDIT: Oh, and eye contact. I tried to make eye contact with her during dinner... but she was almost avoiding it. Her eyes would shift from extreme right to extreme left while talking, and only rarely was she really looking at me or giving me a chance to make eye contact.

We did have a lot of fun shooting things in video games though. Apparently she loves arcades. :)
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:16 am

Should I assume that two dates ending in hugs instead of kisses is a really bad sign?
Pril
Sojourner
Posts: 1834
Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 5:01 am

Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Wed Dec 09, 2009 2:58 pm

by "hugs" do you mean sex?
Dalar
Sojourner
Posts: 4905
Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2001 6:01 am

Re: The Game

Postby Dalar » Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:01 pm

Sarvis wrote:http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3279474&l=acee29c074&id=719240778


I'm confused, that thing is asian?
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:05 pm

*pat Dalar*

When I said I didn't have a good picture I meant it.
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:10 am

So, the other day when we talked at the phone she mentioned an event that was full and she wanted to go to. I was on the guest list, and she was waiting for someone to cancel.

Now, for me things got complicated because I met another girl and she wanted to get together... and she's also in the meetup group. Was planning to get Hanh in by increasing the guest count, but then the other girl also got on the waiting list and the actual organizer was talking about increasing the limit by like 5 people. Uh-oh...

I canceled out, asked girl#2 to go out the same night so I could eliminate the chances of Hanh finding out about her (Heidi already knows I'm seeing someone else, but I haven't gotten to the point of telling Hanh or even deciding if I should or if there was a point since I wasn't sure how interested she was.)

Anyway, Hanh noticed I canceled and sent me a text saying she hopes I didn't cancel on her behalf, because she would have liked to spend the time with me.

I'm taking that as a pretty good sign. :)

(Oh, and yes I am now officially dating two girls I guess... not sure how I feel about this Heidi girl though. She already seems clingy and we haven't even actually had a date yet.)
Pril
Sojourner
Posts: 1834
Joined: Sat May 11, 2002 5:01 am

Re: The Game

Postby Pril » Sat Dec 12, 2009 6:06 pm

How clingy could she be? She knows you're dating other people and is ok with it...
Sarvis
Sojourner
Posts: 6369
Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Sarvis » Sat Dec 12, 2009 6:49 pm

Pril wrote:How clingy could she be? She knows you're dating other people and is ok with it...



Yeah, but even before we went out she was asking me if I thought we'd be a couple in a few weeks. She also told her parents about me, and scheduled a double date with some mutual friends like 3 weeks out. She also was constantly chatting and messaging me on facebook.

All this _before_ the first date. Hell, before I'd even actually asked her out... I only told her I was dating another girl to try and get her to back off a bit and so she wouldn't get her hopes up too much if things didn't work out.

As to that, I'm not sure. We went out the other day and at first things seemed to go really well. About halfway through dinner though we started running out of things to talk about, and the evening started to drag. We were at Dave & Busters, and we played some games together and stuff... but I had a lot more fun with Hanh when we went. I think Heidi suggested D&B because she knew I liked games but wasn't really enjoying them herself... which you can generally tell when someone's not having fun and it drags you down too. (Hanh, on the other hand, spent a lot of time as a kid going to arcades and we had an absolute blast together.)
Kifle
Sojourner
Posts: 3830
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2002 6:01 am
Location: Huntington, IN USA
Contact:

Re: The Game

Postby Kifle » Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:10 pm

Rofl, sounds like you're now dealing with you from a few months ago. See how it is?

Return to “T2 General Discussion Archive”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests