One Year(ish) Later

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Sarvis
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One Year(ish) Later

Postby Sarvis » Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:37 pm

So January 2009 is when Kayla stopped working at the strip club, and I lost contact with her forever. Someone in some thread mentioned... well, something and I blurted, as much as is possible on a web bbs, out that I'd been in love with a stripper who broke my heart.

What followed was a few weeks of you guys telling me what a dumbass I was, offering advice, and me being contentious about it all. For the record, I still think Kayla and I shared something special. However, thank you all for taking the time and offering me that advice.

I joined a couple meetup groups as was suggested, and even started up my own. I think that was the biggest change, really. I have a fairly solid group of friends now, one of whom offers "partial benefits." I was invited out to watch a hockey game by one girl, and asked to invite some other friends. As I was sitting there it suddenly dawned on me that I was the one guy in a group of 5 and that I'd been the one who pulled them all together. Compare this to 2008 where I'd have been sitting home playing xbox, no one inviting me out and me not inviting anyone else either.

The other big thing was reading The Game, which of course at the time depressed me so much it got it's own thread where I whined some more. There's still parts of PUA (pick up arts) I'm not horribly comfortable with, but I can't deny that learning about them has improved my "game."

I can honestly say that I would never have gotten a date with Hanh if I'd never read that book. It lead me to some internet forums where I can get advice on dealing with women. Hell, the night Hanh and I hit it off I texted her a flirty text message I'd lifted from that site to see if she wanted to get together for drinks.

The really funny part there? That night was also exactly one year since I my one date with Kayla. I'd actually been intending to stop by the club that night, just to see if any strange mystical forces had brought her back. Our group had moved to a couple different bars though, and we were getting further away and I started to think A) yeah right, she's just going to not be there and B) That Hanh girl was really hot, a PUA would be inviting girls out rather than going to a strip club.

So I did that instead. And I'd met her in the first place through a meetup group.

Two things that would not have happened if I hadn't met Kayla, which led to the whining, which led to you guys offering me advice here.

I've still got a long way to go, of course, but I kind of feel like I'm getting there. I still have trouble approaching women, but I've done it occasionally. I can flirt a little, and tend to be a lot more outgoing. I've started taking improv classes, and even performed on stage at the end of my last class. Who knows, maybe I'll end up famous one day...

Yet, for all the progress I've made I'm still in the same place I was last year. Only instead of pining over Kayla I'm pining over Hanh. Even at that, I have an arrangement with my friend Emily who is also going through a breakup and just met a girl through eHarmony that I hit it off with.

So, I don't know. Was just trying to do my taxes yesterday and it got me thinking about the last year. I really feel like I've changed and grown more in the last year than probably the entire decade before it.

Thanks again to those of you who helped out.
avak
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Re: One Year(ish) Later

Postby avak » Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:47 pm

Awesome.
teflor the ranger
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Re: One Year(ish) Later

Postby teflor the ranger » Mon Apr 05, 2010 8:45 pm

Really glad to hear you have more people in your life than game consoles, enjoy 'multiplayer mode.' Change takes time and I thought all along that you had more hope than Obama, lol.
amena wolfsnarl
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Re: One Year(ish) Later

Postby amena wolfsnarl » Sat Apr 10, 2010 2:23 am

Glad life is looking up there sarvis, One big idea that the game brings up is you need to get out of your typical settings in order to meet woman, looks like that worked well for you. I read the game not too long ago myself actually, probably one of the best books that I've read, Not so much about the picking up woman issue, but more about relating to styles and his battle to meet woman and deal with his own insecurities, Its a great book i highly recommend it to everyone.
Sarvis
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Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
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Re: One Year(ish) Later

Postby Sarvis » Sat Apr 10, 2010 4:02 am

Got a girl's number tonight, though I'm pretty sure she picked me up more than I picked her up. Also met a girl who gave me some IoI's and told me I shoulde get in touch with her through our mutual friends...

Wouldn't have talked to either probably if not for The Game, and the resulting attempts to change my life.

Sorry Ambar and Ashiwi... sitting around waiting for some girl to just appear doesn't work. Attempting to meet the ones I'm interested in does.

Though... still miss Hanh. :(
teflor the ranger
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Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Waterdeep

Re: One Year(ish) Later

Postby teflor the ranger » Sat Apr 10, 2010 4:21 am

I don't think either of them told you to sit around and wait.
Sarvis
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Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2001 6:01 am
Location: Buffalo, NY, USA
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Re: One Year(ish) Later

Postby Sarvis » Sat Apr 10, 2010 1:46 pm

Do they even post here anymore? Haven't seen anything from either of them in ages...
teflor the ranger
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Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2002 5:01 am
Location: Waterdeep

Re: One Year(ish) Later

Postby teflor the ranger » Sun Apr 11, 2010 11:12 pm

I haven't seen them post lately. There's been some on and off talk about meeting for another gathering. Give some thought to coming. I was thinking that we could do some sort of eco tour of temperate rainforest in the pacific northwest, you know, with an expert and not some eco-douche.

*rolls eyes* I can already see it.

"The rainforest is our friend."

"Why is it our friend?"

"Dude, you just don't understand, like, the environment."

"Yeah, I know, that's why I'm asking you and going on this tour."

"Well, you see, the environment is our friend."

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