One Year(ish) Later
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:37 pm
So January 2009 is when Kayla stopped working at the strip club, and I lost contact with her forever. Someone in some thread mentioned... well, something and I blurted, as much as is possible on a web bbs, out that I'd been in love with a stripper who broke my heart.
What followed was a few weeks of you guys telling me what a dumbass I was, offering advice, and me being contentious about it all. For the record, I still think Kayla and I shared something special. However, thank you all for taking the time and offering me that advice.
I joined a couple meetup groups as was suggested, and even started up my own. I think that was the biggest change, really. I have a fairly solid group of friends now, one of whom offers "partial benefits." I was invited out to watch a hockey game by one girl, and asked to invite some other friends. As I was sitting there it suddenly dawned on me that I was the one guy in a group of 5 and that I'd been the one who pulled them all together. Compare this to 2008 where I'd have been sitting home playing xbox, no one inviting me out and me not inviting anyone else either.
The other big thing was reading The Game, which of course at the time depressed me so much it got it's own thread where I whined some more. There's still parts of PUA (pick up arts) I'm not horribly comfortable with, but I can't deny that learning about them has improved my "game."
I can honestly say that I would never have gotten a date with Hanh if I'd never read that book. It lead me to some internet forums where I can get advice on dealing with women. Hell, the night Hanh and I hit it off I texted her a flirty text message I'd lifted from that site to see if she wanted to get together for drinks.
The really funny part there? That night was also exactly one year since I my one date with Kayla. I'd actually been intending to stop by the club that night, just to see if any strange mystical forces had brought her back. Our group had moved to a couple different bars though, and we were getting further away and I started to think A) yeah right, she's just going to not be there and B) That Hanh girl was really hot, a PUA would be inviting girls out rather than going to a strip club.
So I did that instead. And I'd met her in the first place through a meetup group.
Two things that would not have happened if I hadn't met Kayla, which led to the whining, which led to you guys offering me advice here.
I've still got a long way to go, of course, but I kind of feel like I'm getting there. I still have trouble approaching women, but I've done it occasionally. I can flirt a little, and tend to be a lot more outgoing. I've started taking improv classes, and even performed on stage at the end of my last class. Who knows, maybe I'll end up famous one day...
Yet, for all the progress I've made I'm still in the same place I was last year. Only instead of pining over Kayla I'm pining over Hanh. Even at that, I have an arrangement with my friend Emily who is also going through a breakup and just met a girl through eHarmony that I hit it off with.
So, I don't know. Was just trying to do my taxes yesterday and it got me thinking about the last year. I really feel like I've changed and grown more in the last year than probably the entire decade before it.
Thanks again to those of you who helped out.
What followed was a few weeks of you guys telling me what a dumbass I was, offering advice, and me being contentious about it all. For the record, I still think Kayla and I shared something special. However, thank you all for taking the time and offering me that advice.
I joined a couple meetup groups as was suggested, and even started up my own. I think that was the biggest change, really. I have a fairly solid group of friends now, one of whom offers "partial benefits." I was invited out to watch a hockey game by one girl, and asked to invite some other friends. As I was sitting there it suddenly dawned on me that I was the one guy in a group of 5 and that I'd been the one who pulled them all together. Compare this to 2008 where I'd have been sitting home playing xbox, no one inviting me out and me not inviting anyone else either.
The other big thing was reading The Game, which of course at the time depressed me so much it got it's own thread where I whined some more. There's still parts of PUA (pick up arts) I'm not horribly comfortable with, but I can't deny that learning about them has improved my "game."
I can honestly say that I would never have gotten a date with Hanh if I'd never read that book. It lead me to some internet forums where I can get advice on dealing with women. Hell, the night Hanh and I hit it off I texted her a flirty text message I'd lifted from that site to see if she wanted to get together for drinks.
The really funny part there? That night was also exactly one year since I my one date with Kayla. I'd actually been intending to stop by the club that night, just to see if any strange mystical forces had brought her back. Our group had moved to a couple different bars though, and we were getting further away and I started to think A) yeah right, she's just going to not be there and B) That Hanh girl was really hot, a PUA would be inviting girls out rather than going to a strip club.
So I did that instead. And I'd met her in the first place through a meetup group.
Two things that would not have happened if I hadn't met Kayla, which led to the whining, which led to you guys offering me advice here.
I've still got a long way to go, of course, but I kind of feel like I'm getting there. I still have trouble approaching women, but I've done it occasionally. I can flirt a little, and tend to be a lot more outgoing. I've started taking improv classes, and even performed on stage at the end of my last class. Who knows, maybe I'll end up famous one day...
Yet, for all the progress I've made I'm still in the same place I was last year. Only instead of pining over Kayla I'm pining over Hanh. Even at that, I have an arrangement with my friend Emily who is also going through a breakup and just met a girl through eHarmony that I hit it off with.
So, I don't know. Was just trying to do my taxes yesterday and it got me thinking about the last year. I really feel like I've changed and grown more in the last year than probably the entire decade before it.
Thanks again to those of you who helped out.