When Wobb got the name "Gobble Dorf!"

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Wobb
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When Wobb got the name \"Gobble Dorf!\"

Postby Wobb » Thu Aug 02, 2001 5:54 am

Wobb Gobble Dorf.

Someone asked how they named me...I shall share with you the story. One day, my party had traveled several days north, up to the Crag, near the spine of the world. It was an overcast day, the only type of day if one must be out. That treacherous, unforgiving dealer-of-sweltering-heat sun was dimly lit behind a thick layer of clouds and my skin could actually bear the heat, for a brief time. I stood just south of the Dwarven village called Mithril hall. I was close enough I could hear the movement and the drone of shouts coming from the town. My party was composed of just a few trolls, an ogre, and one of the snake-people, the Yuan-ti. I found myself often staring at the Yuan-ti, wondering how tough his skin really was. At every turn I wanted to stop him and ask, “Say, do you mind if I try to gash your belly open?” However, I found that there were plenty of rabbits and squirrels and other rodents along our path to keep my blade freshly bled.

Our group leader stopped us and said, “We are going to run past the dwarven village, into those snowy fields to the north. If anyone wants to turn back, go ahead and I’ll lop your head off.” I snickered at the thought. I was so hungry, I could have eaten anything. We hadn’t stopped to eat for a long time and my stomach was starting to rumble. We tucked our gear in tightly and ran past the guarded entrance to Mithril Hall, bewildering those stocky creatures to the point they didn’t pursue us. When I came over the first birm to the large snowy-fields, my eyes widened with sheer delight.

Hundreds of creatures of all kinds, were slain amongst the hills. Dwarves, gnomes, humans...name your entree and it was there. I could even smell the freshly disemboweled remains of some halfling not some twenty ogre’s feet from me. There were, however, also survivors. Frantically running about screaming things I could hardly understand...except for one word I know in every tongue, “Dragon”. A large shadow was gently, but quickly cast over us and then past us to the north. A large, red dragon swooped down and breathed fire into the pile of corpses. Screams and other joyous bloodcurdling sounds filled my ears. It was truly a splendor to behold.

The most noticeable thing, and something I will never forget...was the unique sounds of a few elven fellows who were plucking their instruments and blowing their horns, as if to ease people’s pain. They broke into a chorus of song that was so dear to me I actually made the Yuan-ti scribe the words so I could keep them...they sang this:

“In the land of frozen dreams, right or wrong we save the queens.
Scenes of haunting death, despair...scattered bones a dragon’s lair.

Take the red one down with smite, blazing flames precede the bite.
Drive one spear into his heart, do not withdraw ‘till bloodflow starts.

God save the king, lord spare our queen.
Trumpets play for all who lay, let us live another day!

In the morning death will come, sing before the rising sun.
To save our homes and wives and lads. Daughters bless our native lands.

God save the king, lord spare our queen.
Trumpets play for all who lay, we shall live another day!”

I think the lowest voice in the ensemble must have died before the song let out because suddenly the full sound of the group dropped off near the end! Hahah! Too bad for them I guess....but anyway I digress.

Our group exchanged glances and, without speaking, we began to sneak in amongst the bodies. Our attempts to keep a low profile were in vain. Suddenly we were under attack by half-bled and half-dead anklebiters. It was no fun to kill them, a simple swing of my axe and their life was taken. The dragon had flown high and began to hold a steady course away from us, a sign that it was most likely done with its rampage. We soon put away all our weapons and began eating everything in sight!

I sunk my teeth into a dwarven leg, the blood spurted into my eyes as I ate and I was fulfilled. I was so hungry I couldn’t stop with just one leg. I found some other limbs nearby. In a frenzy I began chomping down Dwarven body parts! I snatched ears and arms and hands, heck I didn’t even check to see if they were from the same poor sap..they all tasted Dwarven to me! A friend shouted, “Hey look! Wobb Gobble Dorf!” And the name stuck.

I hope you have enjoyed my story. Thank you.
Wobb Gobble Dorf

(ooc)If you want to hear a really crappy quasi-recording of the song above go to:

http://members.home.net/tekarrow/mp3/god_save2.mp3




[This message has been edited by Wobb (edited 08-02-2001).]

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