Since we're posting stories and songs, I thought I'd repost a few of my old ones for your (by which I mean, my) enjoyment. Since I am a bard, and having read some of the posts about the bard class, this one's gotta be first: For all my brother and sister bards out there!
---------
Since the days of the renowned bard Halladan, bards have congregated at the fountain in Waterdeep to share music with other bards, and usually to add comments about how rarely they are asked to join parties of adventurers. Hence the title and sub-title, below. This is not to say that any of us would whine about it, no, never. That is why the song must be sung lightly and cheerfully, lest it be mistaken for a whine. The audience should chuckle with the song, not be irritated by the singer.
(OOC: I think of the melody as a slightly hammed up version of "You Need an Analyst" by Allan Sherman, but that, in turn, is a modernized version of "I've Got A Little List" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Mikado".)
A Bard Anthem, or
The Sitting Around the Fountain, Jammin' with My Friends, Wishing Someone Would Ask Me to Group Song
(sung brightly, cheerfully)
Yooouuurrrr
Clerics' heals cannot keep up, the Mob hits too dang hard.
You Shoulda brought a bard. Your Group could use a bard.
Your Armor is a little weak, blows Cut right through your guard.
You Wish you had a bard. You Know you want a bard.
You Fought a monster, had to flee, and Now it's waiting there.
To Smash you and to bash you when you Get back to it's lair.
You Wish that it would for-get it had Ever seen your face.
You Doubt that you will live so long, or Get out of this place.
You Should! Have Brought! A Bard!
You Wish! You Had! A Bard!
Yooouuu
Haven't touched your foe at all, his Skin ain't a bit marred.
You Wish you had a bard. You Know you need a bard.
Your Group's been running all day long, they're Gettin' kinda tar'd.
Your Group could use a bard. You Shoulda brought a bard.
The Sentry is far too alert and Will not let you pass.
You'd Fight him but you know that he would Surely kick your ass.
You Wish that he would fall asleep, so That you could slip by.
You're Sneaky but here sneakiness is Just a way to die.
You Should! Have Brought! A Bard!
You Know! You Need! A Bard!
Whaaaaaat
Charismatic character helps Any company?
The Answer ain't that hard. You Know it is a bard!
Who Helps the whole group all at once, and Helps contin'ously?
For Any fair reward? That's Right, it is the bard!
At Any time I'm limited to Singing just one song.
So You'll do even better if you Take more bards along!
So Listen to me carefully if You success would find.
And When you're forming up your group, just Keep these words in mind.
You Know! You'll Want! A Bard!
Your Group! Should Have! A Bard!
Your Group! Should Have Another Bard!
A Bard Anthem
A Bard Anthem, v3.0
I dedicate this song to my fellow bards, past, present, and future,
comrades and colleagues all!
sung brightly, cheerfully
Yooouuurrrr
Clerics' heals cannot keep up, the Mob hits too dang hard.
You Shoulda brought a bard. Your Group could use a bard.
Your Armor is a little weak, blows Cut right through your guard.
You Wish you had a bard. You Know you want a bard.
The Monster's hitting too darn fast, he strikes too many blows.
You Think you might survive the fight if Its attacking slows.
Or Maybe you'd survive if it did Not avoid your hits.
If It would leave an opening you'd Hack it into bits.
You Should! Have Brought! A Bard!
You Wish! You Had! A Bard!
Yooouuu
Haven't touched your foe at all, his Skin ain't a bit marred.
You Wish you had a bard. You Know you need a bard.
Your Group's been running all day long, they're Gettin' kinda tar'd.
Your Group could use a bard. You Shoulda brought a bard.
Your casters take too long a time to Memorize and pray.
A little time, you'd understand, but They sit there all day.
And When they go to cast their spells you Still will have to wait.
When you need "heal", you need it now, it Better not be late.
You Should! Have Brought! A Bard!
You Know! You Need! A Bard!
Whaaaaaat
Charismatic character helps Any company?
The Answer ain't that hard. You Know it is a bard!
Who Helps the whole group all at once and Helps contin'ously?
For Any fair reward? That's Right, it is the bard!
My solo act is great, you know, you Ain't seen nothin' yet.
My act is even better when I Sing in a duet.
So Listen to me carefully if You success would find.
And When you're forming up your group just Keep these words in mind.
You Know! You'll Want! A Bard!
Your Group! Should Have! A Bard!
Every group should Have another Bard!
I dedicate this song to my fellow bards, past, present, and future,
comrades and colleagues all!
sung brightly, cheerfully
Yooouuurrrr
Clerics' heals cannot keep up, the Mob hits too dang hard.
You Shoulda brought a bard. Your Group could use a bard.
Your Armor is a little weak, blows Cut right through your guard.
You Wish you had a bard. You Know you want a bard.
The Monster's hitting too darn fast, he strikes too many blows.
You Think you might survive the fight if Its attacking slows.
Or Maybe you'd survive if it did Not avoid your hits.
If It would leave an opening you'd Hack it into bits.
You Should! Have Brought! A Bard!
You Wish! You Had! A Bard!
Yooouuu
Haven't touched your foe at all, his Skin ain't a bit marred.
You Wish you had a bard. You Know you need a bard.
Your Group's been running all day long, they're Gettin' kinda tar'd.
Your Group could use a bard. You Shoulda brought a bard.
Your casters take too long a time to Memorize and pray.
A little time, you'd understand, but They sit there all day.
And When they go to cast their spells you Still will have to wait.
When you need "heal", you need it now, it Better not be late.
You Should! Have Brought! A Bard!
You Know! You Need! A Bard!
Whaaaaaat
Charismatic character helps Any company?
The Answer ain't that hard. You Know it is a bard!
Who Helps the whole group all at once and Helps contin'ously?
For Any fair reward? That's Right, it is the bard!
My solo act is great, you know, you Ain't seen nothin' yet.
My act is even better when I Sing in a duet.
So Listen to me carefully if You success would find.
And When you're forming up your group just Keep these words in mind.
You Know! You'll Want! A Bard!
Your Group! Should Have! A Bard!
Every group should Have another Bard!
Calinth, Calinth, Calinth
Your envy of the compliments I receive from beautiful ladies is so unbecoming, even if green is a ranger's color. If you wanted such, you should have become a bard, too. Oh, I forgot, your lack of any sense of rhythm disqualified you. Or was it your voice?
*pat Calinth*
Try not to be bitter, we can't all be bards.
Gurns
Your envy of the compliments I receive from beautiful ladies is so unbecoming, even if green is a ranger's color. If you wanted such, you should have become a bard, too. Oh, I forgot, your lack of any sense of rhythm disqualified you. Or was it your voice?
*pat Calinth*
Try not to be bitter, we can't all be bards.
Gurns
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Gurns:
<B>Calinth, Calinth, Calinth
Your envy of the compliments I receive from beautiful ladies is so unbecoming, even if green is a ranger's color. If you wanted such, you should have become a bard, too. Oh, I forgot, your lack of any sense of rhythm disqualified you. Or was it your voice?
*pat Calinth*
Try not to be bitter, we can't all be bards.
Gurns </B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
ROFL! Gurns that is SO mean! Poor Calinth.
Hehe, poor Calinth.
Eli
<B>Calinth, Calinth, Calinth
Your envy of the compliments I receive from beautiful ladies is so unbecoming, even if green is a ranger's color. If you wanted such, you should have become a bard, too. Oh, I forgot, your lack of any sense of rhythm disqualified you. Or was it your voice?
*pat Calinth*
Try not to be bitter, we can't all be bards.
Gurns </B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
ROFL! Gurns that is SO mean! Poor Calinth.
Hehe, poor Calinth.
Eli
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Gurns:
<B>Calinth, Calinth, Calinth
Your envy of the compliments I receive from beautiful ladies is so unbecoming, even if green is a ranger's color. If you wanted such, you should have become a bard, too. Oh, I forgot, your lack of any sense of rhythm disqualified you. Or was it your voice?
*pat Calinth*
Try not to be bitter, we can't all be bards.
Gurns </B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well, I don't think rythm's a problem, I'm sure it takes some skill to whirl a pair of blades around without doing too much damage to oneself. And obviously the voice can't be a problem, I mean you're a bard of all people. Maybe it's the fact I have a wee bit of pride left that I'm not a bard?
<B>Calinth, Calinth, Calinth
Your envy of the compliments I receive from beautiful ladies is so unbecoming, even if green is a ranger's color. If you wanted such, you should have become a bard, too. Oh, I forgot, your lack of any sense of rhythm disqualified you. Or was it your voice?
*pat Calinth*
Try not to be bitter, we can't all be bards.
Gurns </B></font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well, I don't think rythm's a problem, I'm sure it takes some skill to whirl a pair of blades around without doing too much damage to oneself. And obviously the voice can't be a problem, I mean you're a bard of all people. Maybe it's the fact I have a wee bit of pride left that I'm not a bard?
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Calinth:
Well, I don't think rythm's (sp: rhythm)<B> a problem ...
I mean</B>(,) you're a bard(,) (Should include either of the commas, possibly both, definitely not neither)
of all people(!) </font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I see, it's the fact that you're only semi-literate.
Pride? This from a man who dines on rats? City rats? Do you know where they've been?
Although I see you've been expressing your opinions about bards in other locations. http://www.brunching.com/ratings/rate-morednd.html
which is the second link on Grungar's post at
http://www.sojourn3.org/ubb/Forum1/HTML/001732.html
[This message has been edited by Gurns (edited 07-03-2002).]
Well, I don't think rythm's (sp: rhythm)<B> a problem ...
I mean</B>(,) you're a bard(,) (Should include either of the commas, possibly both, definitely not neither)
of all people(!) </font><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I see, it's the fact that you're only semi-literate.
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2"> Maybe it's the fact I have a wee bit of pride left that I'm not a bard? </font>
Pride? This from a man who dines on rats? City rats? Do you know where they've been?
Although I see you've been expressing your opinions about bards in other locations. http://www.brunching.com/ratings/rate-morednd.html
which is the second link on Grungar's post at
http://www.sojourn3.org/ubb/Forum1/HTML/001732.html
[This message has been edited by Gurns (edited 07-03-2002).]
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